My therapist suggested today that I might have spent 2.5 years of my life with a closeted homosexual. Life just gets funnier and funnier.

Life would be much better if I made the following improvements:

• Lose 15 pounds
• Get a haircut
• Become wealthier
• Focus on work
• Make an effort (to eat well, be well, see well, feel well, love well, well...well)
  
• Give cats up for adoption
• Take off these dingy overalls, my glasses, and let down my hair to finally reveal that I'm not the dorky, awkward girl, but rather the hot girl
• Buy/lease a 2009 Ford Mustang GT Premium Convertible with a racing stripe, spoiler negotiable
• Move to New York City or Roma or London or Zurich
  
• Get rid of my old laser printer, Dell desktop, Dell laptop, and Gateway laptop
• Stop having nightmares about 9/11-like attacks in Mountain View, California
• Stop having nightmares about crazy earthquakes, especially when the panic stems from my plasma falling over and breaking
• Pay attention (faites attention!) at work
• Live life freely
• Learn how to meditate
• Do yoga
• Make friends
• Wash my car
• Buy a new mattress and fancy bed frame
• Cook instead of microwave
• Go to bed at a decent hour
• Stop letting smart, sarcastic persons and their silly conversations keep me from going to sleep at a decent hour
• Tell said persons to ping me pre-12am

I think that covers it?